Have you ever wondered what your singleness (or someone else’s) is actually for? What have you been taught—explicitly or not—about the “purpose” of being single in the Christian life? Chapter One talks about singleness being not just “useful” (for doing stuff) but good in itself. Does that idea sit easily with you—or does it feel a bit new or uncomfortable? Why do you think that is? The chapter suggests that both marriage and singleness are meant to point us to eternity—but in different ways. Can you think of ways you’ve seen that play out in real life? Chapter One describes singles and marrieds as “co-specialists in eternity,” helping each other look forward to what's to come. Does that feel like the reality in your church or friendship circles? What might help us move toward that picture? LIVING IT OUT QUESTIONS The chapter encourages single people to be “visible” in church life—not hidden away or treated like they’re on the outside. What might it look like for single Christians to live their singleness out loud—and how can others help that happen? The chapter also suggests the church isn’t just a bunch of individual families who show up on Sundays—it’s one big family in Jesus. What could that mean for the way we relate across different life stages—especially with those who live alone or feel on the margins? If you’re single, do you find it hard to reach out or open up to others? What helps—or hinders—you in being real and connected within your church family? If you’re married, have you ever thought about how your marriage could help point others toward Jesus and eternity? What might it look like to live your relationship in a way that quietly encourages or blesses the wider church community?

To go deeper on some of the ideas discussed in this chapter, check out the links below!

In the TV show Alone, where people often tap out—not because of danger—but because of the weight of being alone. Have you ever had a moment like that—where the hardest part of life wasn’t what you were facing, but the fact you were facing it alone? The chapter highlights that God didn’t just make marriage, he made a whole web of human relationships. Have you ever found deep connection, love, or community in non-romantic relationships? What did that look like? What do you think about the idea that the church—not marriage—is meant to be the place where none of God's people are truly alone? Does that reflect your experience? Why or why not? The chapter talks about how church can sometimes unintentionally isolate single people. Have you ever seen or experienced that kind of relational gap between married and single people? What small shifts could help close it? Jesus prays in John 17 that his followers would be one as he and the Father are one. What does that kind of unity look like practically in your church or friendships? Where do you long to see more of it? LIVING IT OUT QUESTIONS If you’re single, what are some ways you’ve found it hard—or life-giving—to connect at church? What stops you from taking the first step, like starting a conversation or joining in even when it feels hard? If you’re married, how can you make space for others—especially singles—within your rhythms at church or home? What practical habits could you try (e.g., inviting someone to sit with you, opening up your social plans)? The chapter challenges both single and married Christians to actively pursue togetherness, not passively wait for it. What might that look like for you this week? The chapter ends with the reminder that, in Christ, we’re part of a big family with countless brothers and sisters. What’s one step you could take this month to live more deeply into that truth?

To go deeper on some of the ideas discussed in this chapter, check out the links below!

Chapter Three explains that many Christians view the gift of singleness as something rare, lifelong, and supernaturally empowering. How have you seen this idea play out in your church or faith community? What do you think of the idea that simply being single (for however long that lasts) is itself the gift? Does that feel freeing, challenging, confusing—or maybe a bit of all three?' Have you ever thought that feeling discontent in your singleness meant you must not “have the gift”? How does it shift your perspective to hear that discontent doesn’t disqualify the goodness of your situation? The chapter points out a double standard: married people can struggle and still see their marriage as good, but single people often feel they need to be perfectly content. Why do you think that expectation exists, and how could we help push back against it? Paul says he wishes more Christians were single like him—but we rarely hear that today. What might be different in our churches if we took seriously what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7? LIVING IT OUT QUESTIONS If you're single, have you ever felt like you're “doing it wrong” because you're not content all the time? How does it help to hear that contentment doesn’t define the goodness of your singleness? This chapter encourages singles to receive their season of life as a gift from a good God. Can you think of a time when someone helped you feel that your singleness was not just okay—but genuinely good? What did they say or do that made a difference? If you’re married or in leadership, what’s one assumption you might need to challenge in how you think or speak about singleness? What might it look like to show up for a single friend—not with advice or matchmaking, but with friendship, consistency, and celebration of their life? If you’re married, how could you help make space for your single friends to feel included, valued, and loved in ordinary church or home life? What’s something small you could try this week?

To go deeper on some of the ideas discussed in this chapter, check out the links below!

Have you ever felt pressure to “choose” singleness in order for it to seem valuable, noble or valid? Where do you think that pressure comes from? In what ways do our culture’s ideas about personal choice and fulfilment shape how we (and others) see our singleness—especially when we haven’t actively chosen it? How do Jesus’ words about eunuchs in Matthew 19 challenge or expand your understanding of singleness as a calling or vocation? What might it look like to embrace singleness "for the sake of the kingdom" in today's context? What’s your take on the idea that intentionality in singleness is less about choosing to be single, and more about choosing to be faithful to Jesus while you are single? In what ways do you see God’s sovereignty at work in your relationship status right now? Is that comforting, challenging—or a bit of both? LIVING IT OUT QUESTIONS Whether you’ve chosen to be single or not, how easy is it for you to believe your singleness is meaningful and good? What helps you hold onto that truth—or what makes it hard? If you’ve set out to remain unmarried, how are you holding that intention with humility? Are you open to God redirecting you, even if it means stepping into the unexpected? If you haven’t chosen singleness but find yourself still in it, how can you reject the idea that your life is “on hold”? What would it look like to live this season with courage and purpose? If you’re actively praying for or seeking marriage, how do you keep that hope from becoming an obsession or source of despair? What kind of support or accountability helps? When has God used a circumstance you didn’t choose to shape you in surprising or good ways? How might your current season of singleness be one of those times?

To go deeper on some of the ideas discussed in this chapter, check out the links below!

Do you ever feel pressure to prove your singleness is “spiritual enough” by constantly using it for service or sacrifice? Where do you think that expectation comes from? The chapter challenges the idea that marriage naturally makes people more sanctified or spiritually mature. What do you think of that? How does it reshape your view of marriage or singleness? Paul describes married Christians as being concerned with the “affairs of this world.” How does that contrast with what we often hear in church about marriage and spiritual life? Does the idea that singles are spared some of marriage’s “worldly troubles” feel freeing, confronting—or both? Why do you think it’s so rarely talked about that way? The chapter encourages married believers to learn from single believers about undivided devotion. How could we create more space in church life for that kind of mutual encouragement? LIVING IT OUT QUESTIONS When you reflect on your life right now, what are some ways your devotion to God feels divided? What might help you grow in that devotion? If you are single and desire marriage, are you able to pursue that hope while also fully engaging in the life God has given you today? What helps you hold those things in tension? Whether you are married or single are there rhythms or relationships in your life that help you stay focused on “the Lord’s affairs”? What might need to change to make more space for those? If you’re married, in what ways are you resisting—or giving in to—the temptation to be “engrossed” in the world through your relationship? How can your marriage reflect your deeper devotion to the Lord? Think of a single person whose faith has impacted you. How could you honour and affirm the gift their life is to you and others?

To go deeper on some of the ideas discussed in this chapter, check out the links below!

Do you ever feel like your sexual desires are wrongly seen as the deepest truth about who you are? How does that affect you as a single or married Christian? What do you make of the idea that we’ve inherited an overcorrection from the Reformers that placed too much weight on sex and marriage? How do you think that legacy still plays out today? The chapter challenges the idea that sexual abstinence in singleness is a heroic “sacrifice” and instead calls it faithful obedience. How does that reframe the way you see your own (or others’) choices around sexual purity? Eternity teaches us that we will remain fully sexed beings (male and female) but will not be married or having sex. How does that eternal vision shape your understanding of sexuality now? The chapter argues that our sexual nature is meant to fuel affection, compassion and connection—not just sexual acts. How does that change the way you think about what it means to be a sexual being? In what ways might single Christians be uniquely positioned to show the world and the church a fuller vision of sexuality? Can you think of any examples of that in your life or community? LIVING IT OUT QUESTIONS If you are single and sexually abstinent, do you ever feel invisible, infantilised or “othered” in your church? How could the church do better at affirming the full humanity of single people? Married or single, are there lies from the “Sexular” world that you’ve started to believe about your sexuality or identity? How can you gently but intentionally confront them? When you say “No” to sexual sin, are you also reminding yourself what greater “Yes” you’re saying instead? How might that reshape your experience of godly obedience? If you’re wrestling with sexual temptation, how are you seeking help and accountability? What would it look like to bring that into the light? Do you need to rethink the extent to which “sexual chemistry” really matters in a relationship? How might the story of kindling desire (rather than chasing fireworks) give you a more grounded vision for love and marriage? Whether single or married, how can you be someone who models the truth that sex is not who we are—but that we are made for deep, loving, holy connection with others?

To go deeper on some of the ideas discussed in this chapter, check out the links below!

Have you ever heard 1 Corinthians 7:9 (“better to marry than to burn”) used as a kind of catch-all solution for sexual temptation? How did that teaching land with you? What difference does it make to understand Paul’s words as being directed toward those not exercising self-control, rather than just anyone with any sexual desire? What do you make of the distinction between ordinary sexual desire and the kind of all-consuming “burning” Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7:9? Why does that matter? Have you ever believed (or been taught) that marriage would “fix” your struggles with sexual sin? How might that lead to distorted expectations—or even harm—within a marriage? The chapter talks about self-control not just as possible, but as beautiful and good. Why do you think so many Christians struggle to believe that the Spirit really can cultivate sexual self-control in us? LIVING IT OUT QUESTIONS If you're a single Christian who is sexually active or entangled in sexual sin, how are you hearing Paul’s call to repentance and redirection? What next step could you take today? If you’re someone who struggles with sexual temptation how are you actively pursuing self-control? What’s helping—or hindering—you in that pursuit? The chapter lists some lies Satan tells us—like “you’ll never be free” or “your sin is too shameful.” Which of those lies are you most vulnerable to? How can you speak gospel truth into them? How could your church community do better at walking with people who are entangled in sexual sin—without shame or silence? What’s one tangible way you can cultivate self-control this week—not just by avoiding sin, but by drawing near to God in love and trust?

To go deeper on some of the ideas discussed in this chapter, check out the links below!